It’s So Hot in Arizona That…

Hi folks! I’ve been hanging out back east playing some festivals and getting ready for the Park Slope Bluegrass and Old-Time Music Jamboree coming up in September. Have to admit it’s kinda nice to escape the dog days of Arizona’s summer! Of course, trying to explain that dry heat isn’t as hot as the temps make it sound usually gets me a skeptical look followed by a comment like, “Well, so’s a blow torch, but you don’t see me standing under one!” ┬áSo I decided I would lighten up your day a bit by providing a few good-natured laughs at the expense of my home state of Arizona. Enjoy (and stay out of the heat)!!

extreme_heat_sign

It’s so hot in Arizona that…

  • the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt & pepper.
  • farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • the trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • you eat hot chiles to cool your mouth off.
  • you can make instant sun tea.
  • the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
  • you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
  • you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
  • you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
  • you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

A sad Arizonan once prayed, “I wish it would rain – not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it — but for my 7-year-old.”